Too often we meet people who do not necessarily agree with the way we see things; people who holds an entirely different perspective than we do. And you know what? It is just perfectly alright. It’s gratifying to associate with this people, and to understand them clearly, you need to demonstrate to them empathy.

As much as there are various ways to develop our communication skills, the key however lies only in a single principle: understanding people way before we judge them. If you wish indeed to improve your communication method, you only have to remember 3 basic things in addressing people’s need of empathy:

Lend your ears and understanding

Empathy is an intrinsic human value that is only made possible if you know how to lend your ears and to extend understanding. It takes wisdom to stand in other people’s views just as it takes great understanding to be able to demonstrate empathy. Empathy is putting yourself in other people’s situations even if you do not agree with their ideas and perspectives. It is lending them your ears even if you stand of the opposite sides of an issue. It is kindness at its best. And you do this by choosing not to pass judgement on the basis of appearance and circumstance.

You show empathy by conveying your intent of listening to their side of the story without prejudice, of extracting their most sincere perspective over an issue. And in the course of doing so, you carefully craft your responses with specific and authentic words of care and understanding. What makes empathy amazing is it does not reflect weakness to the one who practises it; rather, it makes the man transcend conventional wisdom. It can disarm people without a single hint of offense. It shatters the ugly defences to be replaced with utter security and trust. When you start listening to people instead of arguing with them, in the process you are winning them over to your side even without speaking a convincing argument. When you listen to people, you are in a sense telling them that you have a genuine intention, thus, your ideas are pure and worth knowing. And as you give them your full ears, only then that true understanding descends on your consciousness. This is the time when you start accepting them for who they are and not for what they stand for.

Value and accept them without prejudice

Respect is gained and not begged nor asked. When you value people and accept them without prejudice, they respect you for that. You associate with them and listen to their opinion and value it according to its potential. Everyone has something to offer, something to share, waiting only for the opportunity for someone to hear it out for what it is. Do not readily dismiss any idea that other people presents no matter how ridiculous it sounds for the moment. Rather, give time for it to blossom and take root. I remember I once worked with someone who sees thing differently than I do, but instead of responding in kind to his undesirable remarks, I made an effort to entertain his standpoint and accept him as he is. Overtime I realize that indeed his ideas are legitimate. By that time, we already have an agreeable working relationship because I was able to let him feel that I truly care.

Let them know the importance and value of what they do

Nothing is any more gratifying than knowing that what you do matters. People must be able to understand that they are making a difference; otherwise they will feel that they are aimlessly drifting in an unknown, and when they do not understand their own objective, their passion for work drifts apart as well. You have to be able to tap that inherent characteristic of a man to awake such passion when you tell him that he does something important. And in doing so, you should be able to determine which one works for one particular person. What you should evoke is the idea that their job holds great value for you and others.

However, an isolated circumstance may require an entirely different response. If you meet a chronically angry guy, all the empathy in the world might not work. The best thing is to turn your way to a different direction.